Building Your Network Through Gravitational Pull

By Andrea Costantine

Have you ever felt that building your network is a struggle and takes a lot of energy and hard work?  Well, it’s quite possible that you’ve been using shear force, pushing, and paddling upstream.  This is the exact opposite of building your network through gravitational pull which is all about serving and taking a genuine interest in others, rather than “convincing” them about your greatness.

Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals, The Go-Giver and Go-Givers Sell More explains the difference between pushing vs pulling like this: “pushing is telling people what you want; pulling is finding out what they want. “ Pushing on people doesn’t move them closer to you. As Burg writes, “…ask them about themselves, find out what their interests are, put their interests ahead of your own, and you can “pull” people from vast distances. The influence created by pushing does not carry far. The influence created through pulling is limitless.”

Push strategies are me-centered, when you are talking, selling and thinking of your own interests and agenda. Pull strategies take the focus off of you and your sales and include genuinely taking an interest in others, connecting people to leads and resources, building relationships and giving in ways that meet the needs of others.

Burg also writes “The secret to developing a vast and thriving sales business is the impact you have on the people you have not yet met.” Think of the times when someone knows of you before you’ve even met them. This is your influence preceding you. So consider how you can impact, influence and grow your network using “pull” strategies. Be the person who genuinely helps and gives to others and you will find that people naturally gravitate towards you and the opportunities you have to draw great people into your network multiply significantly.

Now let’s consider how to incorporate pull strategies into your networking. To some, networking is a disguised version of “tit for tat” as Burg writes. In a dog-eat-dog world, it’s all too easy to consider “what have you done for me lately?”  Doing good deeds and being a Go-Giver isn’t about keeping score. Recognize that when you give and do for others, the returns may not come back directly from the people you serve. You will receive gifts back in a variety of ways… an old client hiring you back for an upcoming project, new business coming from the referral of a raving fan, a lead coming from a “competitor” with whom you’ve developed a respectful relationship.

Have a positive influence on others and make networking about giving and serving others. Being a Go-Giver is about doing things for others, taking a genuine interest in them, and ultimately serving the best interest of those around you. Whether you see a direct return from a particular person or not, it simply doesn’t matter, because the truth is that Go-Givers do indeed sell more.

To expand your influence and achieve the success you desire , join national best-selling author, Bob Burg and Behind The Moon live on April 8, 2011 in the Denver Tech Center for Influence & Success: The Go-Giver Way.  More Information.

(c) 2010, 2011  Behind The Moon, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 


Feel free to share this article in its entirety and include the Bio information below along with live link back to this blog post.  Thank you.


Andrea Costantine is a writer, speaker, and wanna-be artist, focusing on the good things in life.  She is a perpetual optimist, lover of nature, yoga, travel, and new experiences.  Learn more about Andrea at

Anchoring Deep vs Casting a Wide Net

by Rich Anderson

Not too long ago I had coffee with Mark, the owner of a merchant services company.  At the end of the meeting I asked him who a great referral would be for his company.   He responded “Anyone who takes credit cards.” 

Almost 2 years ago, I had a similar meeting with Andy, a principal of a financial advisor firm and I asked him the same question.   His response was “An ideal referral is someone who lives along the Front Range, has a net worth of $X amount, has recently left or lost their job and has a few 401k’s that need managing under one investment vehicle.”

Wow, two very different responses!  Can you see how the first answer casts a wide net and the second drills down to specifics?  The latter actually paints a great picture, allowing me to flip through my mental rolodex to see if I could identify anyone who met his criteria. The result… I sent a few referrals to Andy, two of which became his customer. 

Whether you are part of an established company or a start-up, here are some things to consider with regard to your approach in seeking referrals, whether going wide or going deep.

Going Wide – Casting a Wide Net

  • The Market:  In general terms, you have identified who your ideal client is and what they are looking for from folks in your line of work.   
  • Attend Networking Events: There are plenty of networking events around Denver.  Budget a number of these to go to each month as you never know who you can meet out there.  The more people you meet, the better.
  • Geography:   We can cover a 200+ mile radius. “Let’s go to Boulder, Highlands Ranch, Aurora and Fort Collins….today!”  We go where the business takes us.
  • Products & Services:  Be a jack-of-all-trades, master of none, in order to meet a customer’s every need.
  • General Offers/Information:  Communicate with folks through Facebook, Twitter, E-blasts about your services.

Going Deep – Daring to be Specific

  • Target Market:  Day-to-day experience, research and your customer lists tell you exactly who your customers are.  You may just realize that a large percentage of your customers are in a certain industry as well.  Take the time to find out what drives these customers to do business with you and help them to do it more often.
  • Join Networking Groups:  If your Target Market is part of a Chamber of Commerce or Networking Group that also aligns with you and your Company, that’s where you need to be.  Get involved by serving on a committee or helping leaders in some way.
  • Geography:   “Hmmm…we have 3 customers on this street and there are about 25 houses here.  We need to set appointments with the rest of those homeowners…today!”
  • Products & Services:   Limit your offerings to your core competency.  Build ties with those who offer products or services that you don’t, yet closely mirror you and your brand.  Meet with these people often as you will become great referral partners for each other and build powerful relationships.
  • Specific Offers/Information:  Craft specific offers/information to Target Markets and Existing Customers that are unique for that group.

Going Wide has many merits and can be used strategically in each of our businesses.  The idea of Going Deep is worth consideration since it brings the highest levels of relationships, loyalty and ultimately more market share and density. 

Good luck and Good Selling!

For Behind The Moon By Rich Anderson, the Founder and CEO of ClearView Water;

(c) 2010, 2011  Behind The Moon, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 


Feel free to share this article in its entirety and include the Bio information below along with live link back to this blog post.  Thank you.

 a Colorado based water filtration Company.  He has formed great and deep relationships and referral partnerships within the Behind The Moon Network by implementing the strategy of Going Deep. Learn more about Rich or contact him via his website at

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